By Rosemary Naguda
“I was addicted to social media even when he was around. I would give Facebook, WhatsApp more of my time than him,” Joan Assimwe.
Kampala – 14, April 2021: Dating or cohabiting can be joyful and stressful at the same time. Many couples have ever complained of this stage in a relationship as being the hardest to hold.
While during dating or cohabiting fiancé and fiancée may break up and walk their own path, at some point, the pair makes amend and start from where they had stopped.
In our first edition of Relationship Magazine, TND News’ Rosemary Naguda had a chat with Joan Assimwe (Sir name not real for her privacy) and they discussed profound issues:
Qtn. You are now happily married after years of disappointment and harsh treatment. Anything more to share?
Ans. I couldn’t imagine being me now. I and my husband whom we had cohabitation for years had rough journeys; I was harsh to him, some days brutal and annoying. We broke up twice and I had to leave his house to start my own life.
After two weeks, he located me through my sister and we met. I can remember telling him I was not making any u-turn. He left me that day with a broken heart.
Qtn. What made your relationship journeys that hard and disappointing?
Ans. I was addicted to social media even when he was around. I would give Facebook, WhatsApp more of my time than him. My fiancé was a very responsible man, he would counsel me, ask me to enjoy social life but with caution.
One day, he caught me watching porn sent to me by a male friend. He felt mad at me and grabbed my phone. Even after apologizing to him, he could not say anything that day.
Qtn. Was this male friend just a friend?
Ans. He was but he was convincing me to date him; he promised to marry me but I kept insisting it was not possible. Because he had been sending me porn videos and romantic messages and audios, I was replying him too. When my now husband got to know this, he parked my clothes and pushed me out of his house.
Qtn. Where did you go that day?
Ans. I called my girlfriend, told her everything on phone and she told me to take a taxi to her home.
Qtn. For how long were you with her?
Ans. For one week. During my stay, I fasted for three days, prayed to God to intervene. I was remorseful and I had no better ways to show him.
Qtn. You fasted because you had love for him?
Ans. That was one reason. Secondly, I was breaking my own soul and relationship by being addicted to social media.
Qtn. After a week with your girlfriend, what happened?
Ans. I texted him but he never replied me. I called him in the evening and he asked me “what can I do for you?” I asked him to forgive me. “You need to change, to ask God to forgive you” he told me. Soon, I told him I had a fasting for three days and I asked God. He laughed and put off the phone.
The following day, he called me and briefly said: “Come with your girlfriend to town and call me on arrival.”
Qtn. Did you do exactly as he asked?
Ans. Yes. We were in town after 45 minutes and I called him. He directed me to Garden City in Kampala where we all met, sat and talked on coffee and later dinner. He told us he loved me and he had no worry I would change and be a good wife.
At around 8pm, we departed. I and my girlfriend went back, but he asked my girlfriend to accommodate me for a week which she joyfully accepted.
Qtn. Have you ever cheated on him?
Ans. I did it once and I regretted it. It happened when we broke up and I had given up on him yet he was a responsible man and hardworking. He was giving me everything.
Each time I remember cheating on him, I don’t like myself.
Qtn. He asked your friend to house you. What was he planning?
Ans. Later I realized he was doing final touches on his own house he was building in Soya-Bunga, Ggaba. ‘He was preparing himself for me and our future.’ On the fifth day, he phoned me and told me to prepare and travel next day to Ggaba. I asked my friend to accompany me and she accepted. When we reached, we found him in the kitchen cooking a delicious meal and we were shocked, amazed at all thing he did prior and afterwards.
Qtn. You had lunch together. Tell us what happened afterwards?
Ans. He told me, “this is our home; we need to change and move on”. He told my friend: “While she was misbehaving, I was sure she was the right woman for me.”
Qtn. In conclusion, what changed positively to date?
Ans. That day in the night, he asked me to marry him and I said “YES”. We got married in February 2019 and we have a beautiful girl aged 1yr old. My husband is the best man on earth; I have made a vow to stand by his side, support him in all his endeavors. My advice to girls and women is that; don’t be addicted to social media. Our boyfriends and husbands need our attention and we should be good to them.